Monday, May 1, 2017

Quick update

Does being on social media ever stress you out? It stresses me out, people's political posts, the arguing that comes with them, the very interestingly worded political articles from sites that are doing  nothing but fluffing the feathers of whoever the target audience is and angering the ones who aren't.  Sometimes its just too much to have to see  day in and day out.  I'm guilty of hiding posts on Facebook of people who I even agree with simply because I am SO over everyone's opinions about everything! It's funny too because I am generally curious about others thoughts and feeling about a lot of different things, BUT, there are sooo many people on BOTH sides who are not very informed, that spout off like they just know it all. Sometimes I ask myself do I want to say something because someone looks like a jerk, or correct them because they are wrong?  I never say anything because truth be told, they don't care.  The person who posts those things are looking for people to affirm their beliefs or they're looking to argue with someone.  All of this online stress causes me to take breaks from it, deleting the aps I have, just so I don't have to see all these things all the time!  I wish I could log online and not be bombarded by whatever someone is selling, (and yes I know it changed your life and is the best thing ever), or how someone feels about a, b, or c, or someone arguing or posting about something political, and the news - for the love - why is it always sooo negative?!?  And parenting articles, that's a whole other realm of how you're a bad parent if you vaccinate, if you don't, if you spank, put your kid in time out, or don't. There are always a ton of scary things to read about kids allegedly, almost being abducted too. I had to quit my local "mom page" because the level of paranoid hysteria coming from there was almost comical but mostly sad.  That's saying a lot because well, I am an anxious person and paranoid hysteria is pretty much my standard operating level, I'm kidding, a little. So, when Lent came around I was thinking about something I could give up to focus on God more, being online was the first thing to come to mind.  Now, I could not get off social media entirely because I am involved with a few things where access and posting on Facebook is mandatory, I could miss meetings, etc. So, what I did was delete all social media off my phone and when I had to be on Facebook, I only checked notifications, did what I needed to do and would sign off. Very specifically, my rule was NO SCROLLING on the newsfeed.  I decided to fill the time I would be online with reading my bible or praying or sometimes just thinking about how gracious God has been to me and thanking Him for those things. I could not believe how much better I felt and less stressed out I was! It really went well! My new rule is to treat Facebook like your grandma treats Facebook, checking it once, or twice a day.

The kids are all okay, Brooke is having the TIME OF HER LIFE in college right now, which is great! Avery is so so so ready to graduate high school! He had senior skip day last Friday and he participated, a big thing for him, because he generally doesn't do what everyone else is doing.  Noah is doing well, he has tons of friends and he loves preschool.  Every morning he walks into class all the kids run up and hug him. His teacher always laughs and says "everyone loves Noah." Scott and I decided that we aren't sending Noah to public school next year for Kindergarten, if ever.  He's going to stay at his Montessori school and do a few days a week there and then I'll teach him at home too.  We feel like this is the best choice for him. One thing Noah is very obsessed with right now is becoming a big brother. NO, I am not pregnant but Noah talks about being a big brother all the time! So much so, that a few people have asked me if I was pregnant. I laugh about this because he has no idea what that really means.  His super spoiled life, full of attention world would come abruptly to an end the second that child came and I know he wouldn't like it at all! Plus, per the Dr that I saw when I had Noah, the next one would come faster than him and after having him in the car, I'm not sure I'd want to have a baby walking to the car or in the shower at home.  I'm imagining it now. Not fun at all!

Scott has been okay! Which is always a good, good thing!  He went to the hospital last Monday evening, came home went to bed, woke up Tuesday and went to Denver.  I have to admit that I was really mad about it, but the truth is, if  he feels good, might as well go on with what he needs to do, rather than not.  He had some type of infection, again, but they caught it early - YAY!  We went to Austin the weekend of our 6th anniversary, it was a sweet time, walking around the place we got married, staying there, and the most important thing to me was to get a picture of us under the gazebo where we got married. My plan is to get one every few years and then have however many we can get. The lady who came to take the picture of us, let us go into the reception room and see how they have remodeled which was nice to see.  It is such a beautiful venue, but I am biased.. I sent a picture to my parents of the remodel and said you probably paid for .002% of this - maybe more maybe less, I don't know, I don't do the maths. :)

Monday, January 9, 2017

When a week long hospital visit is a GOOD thing

Hahaahaha yeah.  That makes no sense at all but it is true and has been true before.  As y'all know, Scott had a intestinal infection that lasted for about a week.  He was pretty much in the hospital all of last week. He came home yesterday (Sunday) and he's been okay. I did have to help him up this morning because he almost fainted. I know that sounds scary, but it is something that is not uncommon for him and I have delt with it sooo many times, I am used to it. I can usually tell that its going to happen so I am able to rush over and push him up against something to keep him from falling. A lot of those times I have had Noah in my arms so, I feel pretty tough about myself in retrospect. If I had arm muscles I would totally be flexing them right now but I don't - because I am a little stick.  Now that I just got off topic, back to why this last hospital visit was good. (side note: I am going to go back and fourth a lot because there is so much back story involved and some people reading this may not know all the details.) In November, Scotts GI referred him to the Mayo Clinic to hopefully be taken on as a case because his digestive issues are so extensive and because they don't know what to do with him.  We heard from the Mayo Clinic the week before Thanksgiving and they had said they were not taking any more cases on in 2016. That was not surprising given the fact that the holiday season was starting and I am sure everyone was taking vacations and just slowing down in general.  Scott and I were not sad about the letter but felt like it was on opportunity to pray about it and have the people around us pray for and about it too! Which we all have been. Last week when he was feeling bad, he couldn't make it to the hospital where his GI is so he stopped at the hospital near our house.  Stopping there meant he got to see a new GI and have a fresh set of eyes and perspective about whats going on.  The GI at this hospital talked with his regular GI and suggested that Scott be referred to UT Southwestern for two reasons, one, its closer and the second, he won't have to wait, UT Southwestern could get him in much faster.  Obviously that is a good thing. A great thing. An answer to prayers.  Such sweet news to share with all of the people who have been waiting, hoping, and praying along side us. Most importantly we aren't waiting on a letter that could be a "no" and not doing anything while we wait for a potential "yes" letter.

After I took Noah to pre-k this morning I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with the few hours I had to myself and decided I would read the chapter I needed to read for bible study and then work on the questions Wednesday.  Much to my surprise in this chapter was the story that I talked about in my bible study devotional. At bible study the leaders group are asked to share a personal experience of ours that we see God's hand in. Mine was about my horrible few months of anxiety.  The story I shared was of Jesus walking on the water and Peter asking if he could walk on water too. And he does. Then Peter takes his eyes off Jesus because he gets distracted by the wind and he gets scared, so he starts to sink. I'm obviously paraphrasing the story but the point of it is so true for me and in my life. When I take my eyes off Him, I too, sink.  At church on New Year's morning, the pastor told this story to encourage the congregation about the upcoming year ahead. I remember thinking that morning okay, okay, I get it, I do! Keep my eyes on Him. Don't worry about whats happening around you, he will come and he will pick you up. He always does. You guys, it is SO important that we know this, HE ALWAYS DOES!

Thursday, January 5, 2017

It's FIVE days into the New Year....

And I am finally sitting down to type out how we are all doing.  This should explain everything about me as a person. I have had every intention to sit down before today and even planned some things to write about which have, of course, been forgotten. Oh well.  My dad always says I am a butterfly -floating from one thing to the next.

Our New Year festivities consisted of cuddling in bed with Noah watching a movie, probably Gremlins, because now he is OBSESSED with it.  He is constantly asking to watch a scary movie but he has no idea what that really means so Scott and I keep trying to think of movies that are "scary" for a four year old.  But its hard.  So we keep showing him movies from when we were young.  Someone once told me that its bad luck not to get a New Year's kiss so I made sure to kiss Noah and Scott and say Happy New Year to both of them.  Scott got a high-five too, and we laughed because well, WE MADE IT to see another year. There were so many days last year we both felt like we would not make it through the end of December.

Before Christmas, we sent out two college applications for Avery.  His heart is set on UTD because they have really good computer science and engineering programs.  A few of his friends are going there too, so that is a plus for him as well.  He's also excited that they have a Fencing team.  He had to stop Fencing this school year because the school he's at, has the hardest work assigned during senior year.   He simply could not keep up in school and Fence.  It is very weird for me to think that he's going to be in college in just a few months.  I'm trying not to hyperventilate thinking(typing) about it. I read a really great article awhile back about how motherhood is a constant laboring and birthing process with your children.  It is so true! There is all this preparation, waiting, and pain.  Then you push them out into the world. Again and again. I am in the "laboring" process with Avery right now.  There are so many questions on my mind about have I taught him enough, are there any more things I can do to help prepare him - stuff like that.  Knowing full well that the answer is NO to all of the things I wonder about for him.  I can however, teach him to do his laundry better, but I'm pretty sure that once he's on his own, everything will be in one huge load anyway.

Last month I got to spend some time with Brooke and her friends from college.  I love them all!  They are girls I would hang out with, so I feel like she's made some good choices. Ha! I remember the first month she was gone and how anxious I was for her and the conversations we had about life, (I told her every horror story I could think of about college and how to not be like that) and how she would feel different about things being away and coming home to visit.  And how that all of those things were normal and that they were okay and that she'd be okay.  I prayed with her on the phone when she felt homesick and encouraged her as best I could to make friends.  It was such a sweet thing for her to tell me that I was right and she was really okay. She is happy. She is SO okay that she's thinking about not moving home this summer and staying in Oklahoma.

Noah is teaching me to play Minecraft.  It has been hard for me to understand.  I really don't know why.  I get headaches from squinting at the screen trying to figure out what to do! But Noah LOVES that I try. Yesterday he asked me to play with him so I tried so hard to understand it and be intentional about it and learn from him.  It worked! We built a house, we have beds, a garden, and pet wolves!  He was so happy playing with me he was dancing the whole time!  It was cute!  Today at bible study, we combined music time and all the kids were together so I got to see him with his class.  Normally he smiles at me and says hi and will run up to me - today, he looked at me and kept on about his business.  I was a little crushed and his teacher laughed and said to me, he's come so far. Because he has! I am his person, I just am. It is so sweet but comes with challenges too. For example, I can't leave the room without him yelling for me or following me, because he "just likes me" or "needs to hear me." I usually just laugh and pick him up when he says those things to me. When we first started bible study he would cry and cry and cry and cry.  He had and has the most amazing and sweet ladies as his teachers.  They loved on him so much and made him feel comfortable to be away from me. The fact that he wanted NOTHING to do with me today, is a testimony to that! I asked him if he wanted to start a sport this year and named a few and he said Karate, so we are going to sign him up for it! I am sure its going to be so cute to watch!

I am doing okay, I had a little bit of anxiety this morning after telling all of Scott's family that he was in the hospital again.  He's been in and out 4 times this week, I think.  This has been one of those weeks where everything blends together. He stayed last night and they kept him tonight as well because he has an infection in his intestines and they want to make sure its totally gone before they send him home. I hate so much having to tell people over and over again that he's in the hospital.  I feel like I am breaking their hearts every single time.  It breaks my heart to tell them every time.  It's so awful.  Scott told me tonight that he had a nurse pray over him.  How amazing is that?! It was a sweet reminder at the end of a tiring day, that the community of believers is a beautiful thing.  People who don't know you, people who you've never met will just pray for you upon hearing about you just because we all hurt when someone else is hurting.  There are people in another country praying for Scott and healing for him.  That is very humbling.  That is grace.  That is love, y'all.